Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I love how my cats smell like pot.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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