We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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