Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
