i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
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