OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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