I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
