Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
