He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
