The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
