you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize