I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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