The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
