It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
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idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
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Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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