i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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