We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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