I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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