no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
