Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
