Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize