Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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