I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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