so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
