Pants 0. Shit 1.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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