@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
