i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
