Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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