Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
