8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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