all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
