Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
