Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
