So drunk its hurt
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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