do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
