I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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