my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
