LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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