maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
