I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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