she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
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Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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