I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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