Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
