you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize