For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
