OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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