ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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