its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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