i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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