hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Bring me that man meat
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
