i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
