I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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