R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We had to coat check the pizza.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
