You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
