They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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