I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
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I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
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I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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