I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize