How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
