We won't sleep together?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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