There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
