fuck your aforementioned shoe
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
