piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Drake has all the answers
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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